My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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