Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
