so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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