Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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