turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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