You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
