i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
