I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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