the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
