Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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