I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
