I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
