Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
