Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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