I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your penis caused this!
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