So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
