just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize