On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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