come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
