yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
