not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
