oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
