Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
