Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
