All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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