pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've blown a few things in my day
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
