She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Someone came in the potted fern
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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