Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
