batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
