I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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