before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
