Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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