honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Found the puke drawer
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
