So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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