Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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