Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
