I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this beer tastes like vomit already
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
