Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
