There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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