I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
