Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
