But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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