I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
