nut hugger
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
