Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
