i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
