why didn't you poke me back
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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