I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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