I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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