I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
