Your face is a jimmy john
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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